Adulting is tough; navigating expectations makes it even harder. We often find ourselves balancing two extremes of societal and self-expectations, creating mentally strained adults, who are then unable to lead fulfilling lives. Either way, expectations can have a profound impact on mental well-being and collective societal progress.

The Burden of High Expectations

Sarah's Relentless Pursuit of Perfection

Sarah had it all on paper: a degree from a prestigious university, a job at a top-tier tech firm, and a group of friends who were equally high-achieving. Yet, each morning she woke up with a knot in her stomach. The accolades she received felt like ticking time bombs, counting down to the moment she'd finally be exposed as a fraud.

The Emotional Toll

Sarah’s perfectionism grew into a monstrous entity that consumed her thoughts. Her insomnia worsened, as her mind wouldn't stop scrutinising the day’s work. At social gatherings, she felt aloof, constantly comparing her life trajectory with others, and often afterwards spending her alone time replaying every interaction in her head analysing how she could have done it better. She became a passenger in her own life, with the wheel firmly in the grip of an insatiable thirst for more.

The Erosion of Relationships

The people who loved Sarah started feeling her emotional absence. Her partner, Alex, grew tired of reassurances that were never absorbed. Her family watched as she traded laughter at family gatherings for late nights at the office. Sarah’s life became a blur of deadlines and accolades, while the real, tangible world around her slowly faded away.

The Trap of Low Expectations

Anna’s Invisible Cage

Growing up, Anna was often overshadowed by her siblings. She was the ‘average one,’ incapable of either great failures or great successes. As she entered adulthood, this label adhered to her like a second skin. It made choices for her, always selecting the path of least resistance and least potential for failure.

The Missed Opportunities

Anna had a knack for art, yet she never pursued a career in it, settling for a clerical job that numbed her creativity. Her parents never encouraged her to push boundaries; even her art teacher, Mr. Peterson, advised her to think 'realistically.' Every dismissive comment etched away at her ambition, until she no longer even dared to dream.

A Life Half-Lived

Anna met Paul, a man who, like her, had never been encouraged to reach for the stars. They settled into a life dictated not by passion, but by the limitations imposed upon them. Theirs was a love born out of shared mediocrity, a union that neither uplifted nor inspired.

Psychological Toll on Mental Health

Impact on Sarah and Anna

Sarah spiralled into clinical depression, facing a constant inner battle between her reality and her ambitions. Anna, on the other hand, was gripped by a lingering sadness, a melancholy born from years of subdued desires and missed opportunities.

The Therapy Diaries

Both sought therapy, but for opposite reasons. Sarah needed to scale down her expectations to find peace, while Anna needed to recognise her own worth. Each session was a step towards rebuilding their distorted self-images, but the road was long and fraught with emotional pitfalls.

Societal Loss: The Unseen Cost

Talent Drain and Cycle of Neglect

Sarah, despite her skills, couldn’t contribute to her full potential due to her deteriorating mental health. Anna's artistic abilities were never realised, marking a personal and societal loss. These individual stories, when multiplied, signify a talent drain that hampers societal growth.

The Collective Responsibility

We are all players in this cycle. By perpetuating unrealistic standards or endorsing harmful stereotypes, society fosters an environment where potential is either suffocated or stretched to breaking point.

Finding a Balanced Path

The Middle Ground: Realigning Expectations

Neither Sarah's unending quest for perfection nor Anna's resigned acceptance of mediocrity serve as sustainable life strategies. The key lies in finding a balanced path—a middle ground where expectations are aligned with one’s true abilities and ambitions.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

Being kind to oneself can significantly alter the way one interacts with expectations. Self-compassion allows room for failure, providing a balanced view of one’s abilities.

Realistic Goal-Setting

To find equilibrium, start by setting achievable goals that still stretch your capabilities. This acts as a bridge between high and low expectations, fostering growth without triggering anxiety or apathy.

Emotional Intelligence

Learning to manage your emotional responses to successes and failures is crucial. Whether you relate more to Sarah or Anna, acknowledging emotions and their triggers can lead to a healthier perspective on expectations.

Social Circles: Choose Wisely

The company we keep has an enormous influence on our expectations. Surrounding oneself with supportive, yet honest individuals can provide a reality check when skewed expectations start clouding judgement.

Reaping the Benefits

When you find that middle ground, life begins to shift. Goals become achievable, stress diminishes, and a newfound sense of purpose can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. This balanced path is not just a personal win; it’s a societal gain. By collectively striving for balance, we foster an environment where every individual has the room to grow, contribute, and find personal satisfaction.


Expectations can be both a driving force and a crippling burden. High expectations can lead to burnout and a sense of inadequacy, while low expectations can trap individuals in a cycle of underachievement. Sarah's and Anna's stories exemplify the mental, emotional, and societal toll this duality takes. Either way, the cost to mental health and societal progress is too significant to ignore. It's crucial to find a balanced path, not just for individual well-being, but for the collective advancement of society as well.